darulmaarif.net – Indramayu, 12 July 2026 | 16.00 WIB
In the foyers of Islamic boarding schools, chap Munakahat Fiqh is always one of the most interesting discussions. The students study the rights and obligations of husband and wife through the yellow book. From there it is understood that a household is not only a bond of love, but also a sharia trust that must be guarded with knowledge, morals and responsibility.
However, when leaving the Islamic boarding school environment, the reality faced by society is not always as beautiful as the theory in the yellow book. Waves of economic hardship, increasing costs of living, and social pressure have become difficult tests for Muslim families today. Not a few households that were originally built with hope ultimately end up on the bench of the Religious Court, or even fall apart without a solution.
Data from the Central Statistics Agency (BPS) shows that the divorce rate in Indonesia is still at hundreds of thousands of cases every year. Continuous disputes and quarrels are the biggest cause, followed by economic problems which reach more than one hundred thousand cases. This fact shows that economic problems are indeed an important factor, but are not actually the only cause of the breakdown of a family.
From the Islamic boarding school’s perspective, economics is just one of the tests of life. What is much more decisive is how the husband and wife respond to the test with patience, good communication, and a qona’ah attitude.
Size Fortune in the perspective of the Yellow Book
Islamic Sharia places the obligation to provide maintenance as the main responsibility of a husband. However, Islam also never burdens a person beyond his or her limits.
Sheikh Muhammad bin Qosim al-Ghozi in his book Fathul Qarib al-Mujib explain:
Conclusion: Regarding expenses, the wife is obliged to provide for her husband on a daily basis, and it is estimated according to the husband’s circumstances, whether he is capable, moderate, or comfortable. If he is bankrupt, then it is extended, and if he is able to pay, then he is credited, and if he is moderate, then one and a half days.
Meaning: “A wife has the right to receive her daily living from her husband. The size of the living is adjusted to the husband’s economic capacity. If he is poor then his basic food is one mud, if sufficient, two mud, while the middle requirement is one and a half mud.”
This information shows that the standard of living in Islam is not to follow society’s standards of prestige, but rather to follow the husband’s real financial capabilities.
This principle is in line with the words of Allah SWT:
God does not burden the soul beyond what it can bear
Meaning: “Allah does not burden a person except according to his ability.” (QS. Al-Baqoroh Verse 286)
Even more firmly, Allah Ta’ala says:
Let the person who is able spend from his wealth, and let the person whose sustenance is limited, let him spend from what Allah has given him.
Meaning: “People who are able to support themselves according to their abilities. And people whose sustenance is limited should provide for them from what Allah has given them.” (QS. At-Tholaq Verse 7)
This verse is the basis that living standards in Islam are proportional, not forced.
Household Buffers That Are Often Forgotten
If the husband is obliged to earn a living according to his ability, then the wife is also encouraged to have qona’ah and be content with the current household conditions.
Imam an-Nawawi in his book Riyadhus Sholihin Quoting the hadith of the Prophet SAW:
Whoever converts to Islam, has an adequate living, and whoever Allah satisfies with what He gives him, then he is lucky.
Meaning: “It is truly fortunate that people who convert to Islam are given sufficient sustenance, and Allah makes them feel sufficient with what they have.”
Qona’ah does not mean surrendering to poverty. On the other hand, qona’ah is the ability to control desires so as not to exceed the responsibilities of the family’s economic capabilities.
Often times, households are destroyed not because of a lack of assets, but because lifestyle is greater than income.
Mu’asyarah bil Ma’ruf is inner sustenance
Apart from material livelihood, Islam also requires a good relationship between husband and wife.
Allah SWT says:
Treat them well
Meaning: “Associate with them in a good way.” (QS. An-Nisa’ Verse 19)
The ulama explain that mu’asyarah bil ma’ruf is not just about speaking softly, but also includes an attitude of mutual understanding, respect, deliberation, and not hurting each other when facing life’s difficulties.
Imam Syamsuddin ar-Ramli in his book Nihayatul Muhtaj explain:
It is mandatory for him to treat people well.
Meaning: “Husbands are obliged to treat their wives with good relations.”
Likewise, wives are ordered to maintain household harmony as long as it does not conflict with the Shari’a.
When the Economy Becomes a Conflict Igniter
In many cases, household problems do not start with poverty.
What happened actually started from the following things:
- husband hides financial condition;
- the wife maintains a lifestyle that does not match her means;
- absence of family consultation;
- consumer debt continues to increase;
- blaming each other when sustenance is tight.
Finally, economic problems turn into psychological conflicts that are increasingly difficult to resolve.
Tactical Efforts to Save Households in 30 Days
When an economic storm begins to be felt, the first step is not to blame each other, but to save the foundation of the family.
Some steps that can be taken include:
First, hold open financial discussions;
Second, record all income and expenses;
Third, stop all spending that is tahsiniyyat (complementary);
Fourth, prioritize emergency needs such as food, shelter, health, children’s education and worship;
Fifth, sell unproductive assets when really necessary;
Sixth, look for additional halal income according to your abilities.
In the Islamic boarding school tradition, there are rules:
Resisting evil takes precedence over achieving good.
Meaning: “Avoiding damage must take precedence over pursuing benefit.”
This means that stopping financial leaks is often more important than being busy looking for additional income.
Strategic Efforts to Get Out of the Circle of Difficulty
Apart from emergency measures, families also need to develop long-term strategies.
First, stay away from usury and consumer debt which only prolong suffering.
Second, increasing economic competence through skills training, small businesses, and upgrading digital literacy soft skills.
Third, build a culture of saving from childhood and be disciplined in allocating emergency funds.
Fourth, get used to giving alms, even if it’s a little.
Imam Abu Hamid Muhammad al-Ghozali in Ihya’ Ulumiddin explains that the blessing of wealth is not merely measured by the nominal amount, but by the benefits and peace of life it produces.
Therefore, families whose wealth is simple but full of blessings are often more peaceful than families who wallow in material things but are full of quarrels.
The Biggest Obstacle Isn’t Always Poverty
In practice, the biggest challenges come from within.
Among others are:
- the prestige of always appearing rich;
- the culture of comparing lives via social media;
- reluctant to admit mistakes in managing finances;
- low financial literacy;
- loss of gratitude for the blessings that Allah SWT has given.
Even though Rosululloh SAW said:
Look at the people below you, and don’t look at the people above you.
Meaning: “Look at the people below you, don’t look at the people above you.” (HR. Imam Muslim)
This hadith teaches that someone should not easily feel lacking just because they see other people’s lives.
Households are not built solely on love, nor do they collapse solely because of poverty. What often destroys it is the loss of communication, the fading of gratitude, the strengthening of the ego, and the loss of qona’ah (nrimo ing pandum attitude) in facing the storms of life.
The books of the scholars have provided very balanced guidance. Husbands are ordered to work and support themselves according to their abilities. Wives are encouraged to behave qona’ah and support their husband’s struggle. Both of them were ordered to discuss what is permissible, watch each other’s tongues, consult each other, and strengthen each other.
Because, sakinah is not born from an abundance of wealth, but from the blessings of life that fill the house.
When the science of jurisprudence meets patience, communication and trust, God willing, economic storms will not easily tear down family buildings that have been established on the basis of spirituality of faith and parenting morality.
Hope it is useful. Wallohu a’lam.
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