darulmaarif.net – Indramayu, 14 May 2026 | 09.00 WIB
“What if my child keeps crying at Islamic boarding school?!”
“What if my child doesn’t feel at home and asks to go home?!”
“Will my child be able to adapt to being away from his parents?!”
Questions like this almost always arise from the guardians of new students every time the school year begins. Many parents secretly feel anxious when they have to let their children go to boarding school for the first time. Especially in today’s digital era, when children are used to living near gadgets, private rooms, social media and the comfort of home.
Not a few new students experience this longing or feeling homesick in the early days of boarding. Recent research on students aged 11–16 years shows that a sense of belonging to the environment (a sense of belonging) greatly influences the level of homesickness of students in Islamic boarding schools. The more students feel accepted and have close friends, the lower their level of hostility.
Other research on new students also shows that the process of adapting to the environment is one of the biggest psychological challenges for children living in a dormitory for the first time.
For this reason, the Darul Ma’arif Kaplongan Indramayu Islamic Boarding School presents a warmer and more humane approach to mentoring through Program Friends System for new students.
What is the Buddy System Program?
The Buddy System is a new student mentoring program by Room Advisors (Musyrif and Musyrfiah) who are specially selected and trained to be adaptation friends, listeners, as well as initial mentors during the first days of boarding school.
Simply put, new students are not left alone to face major changes in their lives.
They will have:
- chat friends,
- study friend,
- friends adapt,
- and a companion brother who helped introduce the Islamic boarding school culture slowly.
This program is designed so that new students do not feel strange, afraid or isolated.
Because often, what makes a child feel uncomfortable is not because the Islamic boarding school is bad, but because he feels alone.
Why don’t many new students feel at home?
Moving from home to a boarding school environment is a big change emotionally.
Previous child:
- free to hold cell phone,
- always near parents,
- sleep comfortably at home,
- and have a relaxing routine,
suddenly have to live a disciplined, independent life and share space with many people.
In the digital era, this challenge becomes even more difficult. Many children are used to fast stimulation from social media and gadgets. When they enter Islamic boarding school, they experience “culture shock”.
In fact, several recent studies state that mental resilience and social support are important factors in reducing homesickness in new students.
Therefore, an emotional approach becomes as important as academic and religious education.
Buddy System: New Santri Are Not Alone
Through the Buddy System Program, new students at the Darul Ma’arif Islamic Boarding School will more easily go through the adaptation period.
The buddies or companions will help:
- introduce the Islamic boarding school environment,
- teaches daily habits,
- help the learning process,
- listening to the complaints of new students,
- to become a discussion partner when children start to feel bored or homesick.
This program also helps create a friendlier, warmer and more supportive Islamic boarding school atmosphere.
Because education is not only about rules and discipline, but also about acceptance.
Building a Child-Friendly Islamic Boarding School
Today, modern Islamic boarding schools do not just focus on curriculum and discipline. Islamic boarding schools must also understand the mental health and psychology of adolescent development.
In the midst of many cases of bullying, social pressure, and the adaptation crisis in the dormitory environment which is widely discussed by the public, Islamic boarding schools need to provide a more humane mentoring system. In fact, various public discussions and alumni experiences on social media show that a supportive environment really determines the comfort of students in staying at the Islamic boarding school.
For this reason, the Darul Ma’arif Islamic Boarding School seeks to build an Islamic boarding school culture that is not only disciplined, but also cares about the emotional condition of its students.
Parents Don’t Need to Panic When Their Children Cry
One of the things that is important for student guardians to understand is:
Crying at the beginning of boarding school doesn’t mean your child has failed.
That’s normal.
In fact, many great students, successful alumni and big figures have experienced feeling uncomfortable in the first weeks of Islamic boarding school.
The most important thing is not whether the child ever cries or not, but whether the Islamic boarding school environment is able to accompany the adaptation process well.
This is where programs like Buddy System come in handy.
Because children who feel accompanied will find it easier to survive, grow and develop.
Mocking is not an easy process. There are phases of homesickness, adaptation to the environment, and independent learning that every new student must go through. However, it is precisely from this process that the child’s mentality, discipline and character are slowly formed.
Through the Buddy System Program, Darul Ma’arif Islamic Boarding School wants to ensure that every new student does not feel like they are walking alone.
Because a good Islamic boarding school is not only a place for religious learning, but also a space for growth that provides a sense of security, brotherhood and emotional support for children who are learning to become adults.
Because sometimes, one friend who cares can be the reason a child survives and finds the best future in Islamic boarding school.
Hope it is useful. Wallohu a’lam.
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