The bullying case returned to viral at the pesantren! Let’s Realize Child Friendly Pesantren Education – Darul Ma’arif Islamic Boarding School

Darulmaarif.net – Indramayu, July 25, 2025 | 08.00 WIB

Writer: Ushth. Syahfa Aidillah

In recent times, our public space was re-shaken by the heartbreaking news of a Tik-tok citizen: “The death of a santri in the alleged acts of violence of one of the Islamic boarding schools in Bandung.

The incident began with alleged harassment of FF female students (20 years) by victim A, who was then spotted by FH. When A tried to escape, there was a dispute, and FH hacked it with a machete. A was rushed to the hospital but finally died. FH immediately surrendered to the police. This case is being handled by the Bandung Police.

In this incident, a santri with the initials A (14 years) died after being hacked by FH (23 years).

This issue is not only about who the perpetrator and who the victim is – rather about a deeper injury: The nature of humanity torn in a place that should be home to the growth of children’s souls.

When education turns into pressure, and tenderness is replaced by fear, then that’s when the pesantren lost his true face: “As a spiritual park, not a fortress of power”.

Human nature in Islamic psychology: growing not conquered

In treasure Islamic psychologyHumans are caught creatures naturalNamely the innate potential to love goodness, seek meaning, and grow in honesty. Allah ‘Azza wa Jalla said:

Fasting of God, who violated the people on it ۚ

Meaning: “(Stay above) The nature of Allah who has created humans according to that nature.” (QS. Ar-Rum verse 30)

Imam al-Ghazali Di Ihya Ulumiddin Explain that the human heart was created in a clean state, but can be tarnished by the environment and wrongdoing power. Therefore, Education is not to subdue natureBut for Caring for and guide it with love.

Al -Ghazali said:
The child is a trust in his parents, and his pure heart is a valuable gem, free from every inscription and image, and is subject to everything that is engraved and obliged to everything that is bound.

Meaning: “The child is trust, his heart is like a clean gem, he will tend to be for what he tends to tend.” (Ihya Ulumiddin, Volume III, Chapter Manners Educate Children)

When violence is justified in the name of education

In contemporary psychology, the symptoms of justification for violence by authority are referred to as moral release (Bandura, 2002). This is a psychological mechanism in which a person justifies wrong actions because they feel “entitled” or “to educate”.

This condition is often found in vertical power relations– Between teachers and students, seniors and juniors – especially when there is no reporting system or safe space for victims.

In many pesantren, this kind of relationship is sometimes left without correction. In fact, violence is part of the “educational tradition”. Whereas, The teachings of Islam really uphold the tenderness in educating.

Islam teaches softness, not violence

Rosululloh SAW is a good example, father of long -term education. In everyone, we have never found violence as a method of teaching. The Prophet Muhammad said:

God is a friend who loves friends in all commands

Meaning: “Indeed, Allah is soft and loves tenderness in all matters.” (HR. Imam Bukhori and Muslim)

Imam An-Nawawi Di Muslim Syarh Sahih emphasize that Softness is the key to the success of da’wah and educationAs well as a sign of the silence of a teacher’s soul.

It’s time for the pesantren to become a recovery room, not conquest

The humanitarian tragedy that befell the santri must be Momentum of Collective Muhasabah. We don’t need scapegoats. What we need is transformation of values and systems.

Pesantren is not just a place to memorize the book, but a place take care of the heart and build characters. This is a mental park, not a fortress.

Here are some concrete steps that can be applied by pesantren to be more fitrah friendly and according to Islamic values:

Reflective step towards the pesantren of the soul

1. Build a safe and neutral complaint system

Providing safe space for students to convey the violence experienced without fear of being intimidated.

2. Training in psychology and educational ethics for caregivers

Internalize the approach Tarbiyah Bi Al-Hilm (Educating with patience), as did the Prophet.

3. Revive the soft and empathic culture

Make tenderness and love as Indicators of parenting qualityNot a weakness.

4. Involving alumni and parents in evaluation

Sounds from outside are important as a counterweight and reminder. Islamic boarding schools are not closed institutions.

Reject generalization, encouraging transformation

This heartbreaking event is not a reason for criticize all pesantren. But it is also not a reason to be quiet. We need pesantren who not only print hafidz, but also form a complete human – with a living heart, not silenced.

It’s not difficult, but violence that has his soul in anger

Meaning: “Strong people are not the ones who can defeat the opponent, but who are able to control themselves when angry.” (HR. Imam Bukhori and Muslim)

Education is love that grows

If education is a sacred path to enlightenment, then Violence is a thorn that hinders it. Let’s return the pesantren spirit as Ruhani Park, a place that is friendly and safe for the growth of young souls.

“This is not a rude Islam, but our hands that sometimes forget to embrace their softness.”

Hope it is useful. Wallohu a’lam.