darulmaarif.net – Indramayu, 04 June 2026 | 10.00 WIB
In society, information often circulates that a newly married man is allowed not to attend congregational prayers at the mosque for seven days if he marries a virgin, and for three days if he marries a widow. Not a few people then wonder, does this information really have a basis in the book of fiqh or is it just a tradition that has developed in the local community?
This question is interesting to study, especially in the modern era when new household activities often clash with social obligations and congregational worship in the community.
Early Marriage in Islamic Views
Islam views marriage as not just a contract that justifies the relationship between a man and a woman, but also as the beginning of the formation of a sakinah, mawaddah, wa rahmah family. Therefore, the Shari’a pays special attention to the early days of family life.
In various hadith histories it is explained that Rosululloh SAW gave husbands who married virgins longer opportunities than those who married widows. This provision later became one of the bases for discussion by fiqh scholars regarding the rights of couples in the early stages of marriage (zifaf).
Dispensation for Not Going Out for Congregational Prayers
In the Shafi’i school of thought, discussions are found regarding the recommendation and even the obligation for husbands to stay with their wives in the early nights of marriage.
Imam Zainuddin Al-Malibari in the book Fathul Mu’in page 498 explains:
Warning: It is obligatory according to both sheikhs, even if Al-Adhra’i takes a long time, like Al-Zarkashi in his response, misses the nights during the wedding such as going out in congregation and funerals, and equalizes the nights divided between them regarding whether to go out or not, then he is sinning by allocating one night to go out.
Meaning: “(Attention) According to two great teachers (Shaykh Ibnu Hajar Al-Haitami and Sheikh Ar-Ramli), it is obligatory for husbands – although Imam Al-Adzra’i has discussed this at length, as Imam Az-Zarkasyi also rejected this opinion in his objection – to stay with his wife on the night of zifaf (newlyweds) and not leave the house for activities such as attending congregational prayers or accompanying funerals. It is mandatory to behave fairly on the nights of his wife’s shift in question. or not going out for that purpose (Zaynuddin Al-Malibary, Fathul Mu’in Bisyahri Qurrotil ‘Ain, [DKI: Beirut]matter. 498)
Seven Days for Virgins, Three Days for Widows
A more detailed explanation was provided by Sayyid Abu Bakar Syatho in the book I’anatut Tholibin. He explained:
His statement regarding the duration of marriage means seven for a virgin and three for a married woman
Meaning: “What is meant by the zifaf period is seven nights for a virgin wife and three nights for a widowed wife.”
Thus, the number seven days and three days which is often mentioned in lectures does have a basis in the Shafi’iyyah fiqh book.
However, it should be understood that this provision does not mean that husbands are absolutely exempt from all congregational worship obligations.
Often people understand this provision incorrectly. Some think that newlyweds can skip all congregational prayers for seven full days.
Even though it’s deep I follow Tholibin also explained:
His statement to the group: related to going out, meaning he should refrain from going out for the sake of the group. What is meant by congregational Maghrib and Isha prayers: because they occur at night, the wedding night is counted as a Friday prayer.
Meaning: “What is meant by “mushonnif’s words ‘to be in congregation’ is related to the word ‘going out’, namely that the husband is obliged not to leave the house to attend congregational prayers. What is meant by congregation here is congregational Maghrib and Isha prayers, because both prayers are held at night. Therefore, the nights of zifaf (newlyweds) are one of the ‘udzur recognized by the Shari’a.”
This information shows that this dispensation is related to the activity of leaving the house at night which can reduce the husband’s attention to his wife in the early stages of marriage.
As for during the day, the ulama explained that husbands are still encouraged to go out to attend congregational prayers as usual.
The Wisdom Behind This Provision
If examined more deeply, these fiqh provisions show how much Islam pays attention to the psychological aspects of domestic life.
The early days of marriage are a period of adaptation that greatly determines the sustainability of the husband and wife relationship. Many domestic conflicts arise not because of big problems, but because of a lack of communication and emotional closeness from the start of marriage.
In the current context, this wisdom feels increasingly relevant. Not a few newly married couples are busier with work, social media, the community or activities outside the home so that quality time with their partner becomes very minimal.
In fact, the Shari’a teaches that in the early days of marriage, husbands should give full attention to their wives in order to create a feeling of security, comfort and strong emotional closeness.
Don’t use it as an excuse to be lazy
Even though there are dispensations in fiqh, this provision should not be used as an excuse to leave the mosque’s teachings or be lazy in worship.
The ulama explained that the main aim of this provision is to protect the rights of wives and build household harmony, not reduce the spirit of worship.
Therefore, after the zifaf period ends, a husband is still obliged to maintain a good relationship with Allah through congregational prayers and maintain good relations with his family through continuous attention and affection.
Based on the information above, there is indeed a dispensation for husbands who have just married virgins not to leave the house at night for seven nights, and three nights for those who marry widows. This dispensation relates to congregational Maghrib and Isha prayers as well as other evening activities such as accompanying corpses.
These provisions show that Islam not only regulates human relationships with Allah, but also pays great attention to household harmony. By understanding fiqh as a whole, we can see that sharia is always present to create benefits, both in worship and family life.
Hope it is useful. Wallohu a’lam.
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